How to recognize the authors of paintings

How to recognize the authors of paintings

If the images have a dark background and everyone has tortured expressions on their faces, it’s Titian.

If everyone in the paintings has enormous asses, then it’s Rubens.

If all the men look like cow-eyed curly-haired women, it’s Caravaggio.

If the paintings have tons of little people in them but otherwise seem normal, it’s Bruegel.

If the paintings have lots of little people in them but also have a ton of crazy bullshit, it’s Bosch.

If everyone looks like hobos illuminated only by a dim streetlamp, it’s Rembrandt.

If the painting could easily have a few chubby Cupids or sheep added (or already has them), it’s Boucher.

If everyone is beautiful, naked, and stacked, it’s Michelangelo.

If you see a ballerina, it’s Degas.

If everything is highly-contrasted and sharp, sort of bluish, and everyone has gaunt bearded faces, it’s El Greco.

If everyone – including the women – looks like Putin, then it’s van Eyck.

If Everybody Has Some Sort Of Body Malfunction, Then It’s Picasso

Lord Of The Rings Landscapes With Weird Blue Mist And The Same Wavy-Haired Aristocratic-Nose Madonna, It’s Da Vinci

Dappled Light And Unhappy Party-Time People, Then It’s Manet

Dappled Light But No Figures, It’s Monet

Dappled Light And Happy Party-Time People, It’s Renoir

Excel Sheet With Coloured Squares, It’s Mondrian

If Every Painting Is The Face Of A Uni-Browed Woman, It’s Frida